when I was 16 and we went to Europe. The last night on the ship was the Captain's dinner which was followed by a masquerade. A lady friend of my parents wanted to dress me as a girl which I indignantly refused while all the time I would have loved nothing more. Since I remember this so clearly at the age of 16, it is evident that activities of a TV nature must have been going on for the preceeding 2 or 3 years. Anyway, as I got older I got bolder, went down to the poorer part of town and bought things of my own, including shoes with heels. I can still feel the combined embarrassment and thrill when I went into a shoe store the first time to "buy a pair for my "sister" who had been bedridden and was now getting about and needed some new shoes." How fortunate it was that "her" feet were exactly the same size as mine. I nearly blew apart during the sale, but I remember the thrill of knowing that I had my very own first pair of high heels under my arm the store.
as I left
I progressed to dressing completely. If my parents were to be gone long I'd walk around the block. Later I would get on a street car and ride a couple of miles, get off and return the same way. I well rem- ember one Sunday afternoon when I got attired in a dark green velvet skirt and light green silk blouse of mother's, plus a sheer garden party type of hat with a wide brim and appliqued flowers. Thus dressed, I ventured out of the house in the afternoon sun and walked a few blocks to a main street and along it for several blocks and then home. Joy of joys and thrill of thrills, I was a LADY on a Sunday afternoon stroll and the whole world saw me and knew I was a lady. Any TV will know what I mean. As I grew older I bought more of my own things, bega to go to cafeterias for meals and to shows at night and generally to do more venturesome things.
All during college and post graduate days I had some feminine things with me and on vacations home I continued my excursions down- town when things were clear. I was never caught by my parents or anyone else. After getting out of college I became active in a young peoples church group, and whenever they would have a Halloween or New Years Eve party, I would turn up in some sort of feminine get up so I became rather known for this sort of thing.
Inevitably I fell in love and eventually married. The day before the event I burned or disposed of all my clothes under the happy mis- apprehension that marriage would end all this silly stuff. I had im- agined that being rather shy with the girls I had created a "girl" for myself using my own body and therefore, since I was now going to have a real girl all my own, I would have no need of such artificiality. Many of those who will read this will recognize the feeling and also the error of it. No, marriage didn't cure me--it slowed me down for
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